LETTER TO DOCTORS....

I had to write a letter to the bariatric clinic when I was first filling out paperwork for this surgery to let them know what I'm hoping to get out of this surgery. Thought I'd share it.....


Obesity… yuck. I’ve been obese the majority of my adult life, you’d think I’d be used to it… but instead, I’m embarrassed & ashamed. I’m tired… frustrated. I ache…  my knees, feet, hips, shoulders, elbows… my joints are revolting against me.


I know what confidence feels like… pride in doing the work, taking care of ME, taking care of my family, my house… I’ve been able to get my weight down some, for a good period of time, even, & it feels good…. not just how I look, but how I feel about myself…. how I feel about everything around me.

Regaining this weight over the last several years has really shaken my confidence… I hide from friends, don’t see old friends when I travel anymore… like I said, I’m embarrassed & ashamed. I know it’s holding me back from what I want to do w/ my life. I’m an artist & more than anything, I want to TEACH! I want to teach nationally… internationally! I know I can do it, I know that I’m good @ it… but I’m embarrassed for others to see me like this. I can’t fly anymore w/out feeling like I’m encroaching on my neighbor, so I don’t, which means I don’t teach.

I’m waiting around to get my crap together so I can get on w/ my life. The longer I wait, telling myself “I’ll get it together. I’ll get it together.” the more footing I lose.

I know I have to do the work myself… I know that bariatric surgery isn’t the easy way out, but I’ve finally come to understand that I can’t do this by myself… I need better tools & I think that this surgery is the right tool. It scares me…. it’s drastic… but I’m at that point where I need that ultimate kick in the ass… something that takes me by the scruff of my neck & says “deal w/ it NOW.” I’m making the decision to do this because I believe it’s time. It’s time to stop waiting. It’s time for me to do the work w/ the right tools. It’s time for me to gain my confidence back, to be proud of myself again.

I want to be able to walk a distance or climb a flight of stairs w/out being winded. I want to FLY. I want to ride roller coasters & hike w/ my family. I want to have the confidence that I’ll fit in that chair @ the concert or movie theater. I want to shave my legs w/ a razor, LOL. I want my bra to stop slipping off of my shoulders… my purse, too, for that matter. I want energy to do what needs to be done. I want energy to get me healthy & confident in myself again. I want to love my husband confidently. I don’t want to be the fat mom & wife anymore.

I’m really looking forward to feeling like ME.