ON THE ROAD AGAIN.....

.....walking, that is. :o)

I'm finally feeling good enough to start walking outside (have been taking a few laps around my living room since surgery).....it's been YEARS & I'm REALLY out of shape. It was hot yesterday, so I waited until it was dark & cooler & went out for a walk. Our neighborhood is exactly 1 mile up & back to my house, so it's easy to know how far I've gone. I did one lap last night... a full mile. It felt good! It was slow going.... not as slow as it was earlier in the week when I was still hurting, but still slower than I used to walk. I didn't time it, but I'm figuring it was probably a half hour. My goal, for my short little legs, is to bring it up to a 20 minute mile......then walk for an hour... 3 miles total. For now, I'm just going to get out there & walk... build up some strength & stamina.

WEIGH-IN - WEEK 2 POST-OP

Decided that I should be including the 0.? numbers from the scale, too, since today's weight was on the high end of a pound. Some weeks there will be tiny losses & they should count, too, right? :o)

Highest weight: 285 lbs
Pre-op weight: 265 lbs
Previous weight: 255 lbs
This week's weight: 247.8 lbs

Loss this week: 7.2 lbs
Loss since surgery: 17.2 lbs
Overall loss: 37.2 lbs

I know, LOL, look @ all of those numbers! They all mean something, though.

Anyway... I'm THRILLED to be under 250 lbs!! It's a really awesome feeling.

SCARY STUFF.....

Forgot to mention that on the 2nd night after surgery I couldn't get comfortable in the bed, so I got up & sat in the chair & the nurse came in & I scared the crap out of her because it was dark & she didn't see me in the chair. LOL. 

SLEEPING COMFORTABLY....

I've always been a stomach sleeper, so sleeping on my back these past few weeks has not been fun. But FINALLY, I'm able to sleep comfortably on my side & this morning was almost completely rolled onto my tummy, no pain. I'm thrilled. Think my hubby will be, too, since it seems I snore when I'm on my back. (won't mention that he snores no matter what position he's in! LOL!)

POST-OP DAY 11

Feeling good! Still have some residual pain @ the incision point where they took my stomach out, I'm sure it's all muscle pain @ this point. It's not much, though. Yay! :o)

Tired, still... not a ton of energy, I'm sure it's diet related, need to push protein a bit more... not thrilled w/ protein shakes right now, though... but need to do a bit more each day, I think.

Actually left the house last night for a walk for the first time (I had been walking the living room / kitchen after surgery) w/ my hubby... slowish going, but we went to the top of the neighborhood & back... 0.6 miles. Not much, but it's more than I've walked in a long time! I'm looking forward to getting up to the 3 mile hour long walks like I used to take... weird, but I really am.

YELLOW TONGUE, ANYONE?...

Yep, I have a yellow tongue. Very weird. Googling about it, I think it has to do w/ Ketosis, which I admit to knowing nothing about, except that it's common among high protein / low carb diets. I'm going to call the nurse on Monday just to make sure, but I have no doubt that my current diet of high protein shakes & such would put me into Ketosis. I'm not so sure that Ketosis is a good thing or not yet. I know some people WANT to reach it, but I also read that it can do harm, so I'm wanting to do more research & ask some questions.

GREAT CHECK-UP....

Had my first post-op check-up today & it went fine. She was excited to see how I'm doing & pleased w/ the results so far. Yep, 10 lbs this past week since surgery! I asked her about the pulling/pain in my stomach, which is still there but just more of a twinge or ache & she went straight to the spot & said that it's typical, since that is the hole they pull the stomach through... they have to do alot of stretching of that muscle, so no wonder. It'll go away soon enough. I went & bought a king size pillow (looking for a body pillow) so I can hug it & lay on my side for once!!! So tired of sleeping on my back! Hubby will be happy to be able to spoon again. ;o)

Anyway... I'm sitting here w/ my Chobani Blood Orange Greek Yogurt, just get a few spoonfuls, but it's a pleasure. :o)

Oh, & I sneezed for the first time on the way home..... dang. ouch.

WEIGH-IN WEEK 1 POST-OP.....

I won't have "officially" weighed in @ the doctors office until tomorrow morning, but this morning, a week since I had my surgery, my scale said that I've lost 10 lbs since surgery. I lost 7 lbs over the 10 days I was on the liquid protein diet, so that's 17 lbs gone in just 2 1/2 weeks! Wow. Not a surprise... I haven't eaten much of anything in that 2 1/2 weeks, but it's still exciting to see the scale in the two-fifties!

255 lbs.

Very cool.

That's 30 lbs gone since my first appointment w/ them in January.

& starting tomorrow, I get to go back to the protein shakes & now creamy soups!! Never been so excited to go back to those darned protein drinks. LOL! AND I get to add Cream of Wheat and some creamy yogurt, too!!

LAND OF THE LIVING...

Well... I'm 5 days post-op & am FINALLY feeling a little bit more like myself. It's been rough, not going to lie... thank goodness the drugs are good. :o) I'm still hurting a bit, but definitely feel better than I have, so I'm finally feeling like I can say I'm on the mend. 

Surgery went smoothly... I was pretty calm the entire time getting prepped, laughing w/ the nurses, etc. I don't even remember them telling me that they were putting me out... next thing I knew I was waking up in my room &  my husband was there w/ me. I should ask him how long it was between the time they told him surgery was done & fine & when I actually woke up w/ him there. I know they gave me a breathing tube, but never even had a sore throat from it, just realized that yesterday. The IV pain meds weren't keeping up w/ the pain, so as soon as I could tolerate swallowing sips of water, they moved me to an oral liquid pain med & that worked so much better. Put me out, for the most part. 

The nurses were wonderful... I couldn't have asked for a better hospital experience. They had me up & walking that first day... ouch, but I just did it because I knew I needed to. Got a little bit easier over time. 

Getting out of bed was the toughest to figure out. I'm thinking that I might've pulled or torn something @ some point early on because I hurt ALOT & that still tends to be the place where it continues to hurt now. It's getting better... I can tell, but it worried me, for sure. It's a spot on my abdomen wall that pulls when I move... mostly when I get out of bed or bend over for something, etc. I've been having to hold that spot when I walk, too. Anyway... that's getting better...

I'm walking as often as I'm taking pain meds... every 4 hours. Family has been wonderful, taking good care of me... fetching this & that, etc. I'm a lucky girl. 

I still can't believe that I'm sleeved now. It's definitely REAL, that's for sure, I just can't believe that I calmly approached it & did it. This was definitely the right thing for me to do. 

Anyway... enough for now. Drugs are kicking in. :o) 

ON OUR WAY!!....

Well... here we go! Heading out of the house for an early morning check-in @ the hospital. I'm still unbelievably calm. Praying that all will go well today & that healing will follow quickly! :o)

♥

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 10!!!....

Well... here we are... DAY 10!! Unbelievable. I'm so ready to do this. I think today will be just a little rough, the other 9 days have been fairly easy compared to just broth, water & Jello, but it's all in my head, right? 

My hubby said that my kisses taste a little metallic, which is a bummer, but it doesn't really surprise me. I've noticed a metallic taste the past few days, especially w/ my water. Wondering if it's a by-product of the high protein? 

11am - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein

2pm - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein

3:30pm - Black Cherry Jello - sugar free. 10 cal ............... yum. I haven't had Jello in a long time! Next up, LIME!! :o)

4:30pm - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein

5:30pm - Lime Jello - sugar free............... definitely feel like I'm eating more often than I have been... no satisfaction from just clear liquids. 

8pm - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein

9:30pm - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein

10pm - Apple juice . 120 cal.

10:45pm - Black Cherry Jello - sugar free. 10 cal.

215 calories

10g protein

..........pretty good day, all-in-all. I'm ready to go!

LESS THAN 16 HOURS TO GO...

Wow... can't believe I'm so close!

I'm a little teary today, thinking about my kids mostly. Guess I'm thinking about how right this feels, too. Don't think that a month or two ago I would've thought I'd be THIS okay w/ things.... it's such a huge step & sometimes I can be a bit of a wimp. I'm ready for this... so ready to start moving forward. It's been a really rough several years as far as my weight & my self confidence & self esteem goes. This weight gain has hit me probably harder than any other, mostly because I had done so well w/ WW & thought I had it all figured out, only to gain it all back.... feel like such a failure. I had a fantastic taste of what it felt like to be healthy, confident, pretty... all my curves in the right places, great attitude, great smile. I feel like I lost so much of myself, I'm so ready to get ME back.

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 9.....

Last day of this sticky-sweet diet & then tomorrow I get to drink broth, juice & water all day! 

10:30am -  Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

11:30am - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein.

2:00pm -  Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk. 150 cal. 14g protein 

4:30pm - Pure Protein shake mix. chocolate. 140 cal. 25g protein... + 1 cup skim milk. 90 cal. 8g protein

7:30 - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

9:45pm - Swanson's Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein.

11:30pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. vanilla. 160 cal. 30g protein


890 calories
141g protein

Went shopping today to pick up some last minute things... soup, broth, apple juice, etc.... & some Isopure high protein drinks in a variety of flavors. Will try some out over the next day to see what I like, these will be important next week. 

On to day TEN!! Eek!

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 8

Can't believe I'm already @ day 8!! Just a few more days & I'll be sleeved & looking ahead to a whole new healthy life! I'm so ready to get on w/ it!

11am - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, chocolate. 180 cal. 20g protein ................finishing off the last 2 chocolate ones of these that I have... after drinking the Premier drinks for the last several days, this stuff is SWEET!! Glad to be almost rid of this stuff!

2:30pm -  Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk (double batch) 150x2=300 cal. 14x2=28g protein

7pm - Swansons Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein........... I'm actually enjoying sipping this stuff. Don't know if I'll think the same thing next week when it's basically all I'm "eating". :o)

8pm -  Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

11pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

815 calories
110g protein

Good day overall! 

GETTING CLOSE!!!.....

OMG, surgery is getting so close, I can't hardly believe I'm almost there! I'm nervous, heck yes, but at this point, I'm really ready to just get it done & get on w/ my new life! 

I joined a group of other August sleevers on a message board, Vertical Sleeve Talk & am really happy that I did because there is a bunch of us and it's been really great & reassuring to hear back from those who have already been sleeved & are doing well. Whew. If I were doing this completely on my own I'd be having a ton of anxiety & doubts, no doubt. 

The 10-day pre-op liquid protein diet has gone well.... I'm on day EIGHT & can't believe how I'm doing. My nutritionist said I'd be hungry & crabby @ this point, I'm really neither. I think I'm going to be just fine. I'm staying on top of any hunger each day & it really hasn't been a huge deal. Of course I had to get 2 parties behind me this past weekend to really be able to say that. :o) It was just a little bit weird to sit @ a party w/ tons of really wonderful food w/ just my protein shake & water in hand.... everyone around me stuffing their faces (I like putting that negative thought on them, LOL!). It was only difficult to the point that it was food I really liked & rarely had, but I kept myself in check, no problem. I told my hubby to toss his plate, please, or else I was going to lick it. :oP

I'm getting a little bit nervous for my family... I know my husband is, too, but my kids don't really know how serious this surgery can be. I'm trying not to worry, this hospital has never had a fatality w/ this surgery, but I know things happen. I'm the type of person who doesn't really think about these kinds of things... I'm pretty easy going, really, but the reality is is that this is major surgery & it needs to be taken seriously. I'd rather not worry about it ...okay, I won't worry about it. :o) 

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 7....

Can't believe it's day seven already!! Still going well.... I'm definitely ready to just hole up here @ home for the rest of this week, but we're meeting up w/ some people on Tuesday for a bit. Otherwise, I'm staying put!

12pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

3pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

5pm - Edy's Real Fruit bar. berry. 45 cal

5:30pm -  Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk. 150 cal. 14g protein 


8:30pm - Swansons Natural Goodness chicken broth, low sodium, 1 cup. 15 cal. 2g protein


10:30pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. vanilla. 160 cal. 30g protein


690 calories
106g protein


...........good day.

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 6...

Made it through the birthday party @ home... now we're heading to a party for 5 nieces & nephews for the day. Will be bringing drinks w/ me, obviously. 

11:00am - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein

3pm -  Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein............... @ a birthday party w/ lots of great food around me. Arg!! Drank my chocolate drink & visited. 

5:30pm -  Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. vanilla. 160 cal. 30g protein............... instead of birthday cake! :o)

9:30pm - Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk (double batch) 150x2=300 cal. 14x2=28g protein ...............after spending the day around all of that food, I'm dying for a bite (just a taste!) of SOMETHING! I'm going to be good, though. 

11:30 - Edy's Real Fruit bar. strawberry. 45 cal

825 calories

118g protein

Good day all-in-all.... just really want to hole up & not deal w/ outside food influences for the rest of the week (month!). 

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 5...

......I feel like I'm doing really well... not much hunger & feeling fine. I'm kind of surprised, but this is a good thing, I'll take it! :o) 

The fourteenyearold is having friends over today for his birthday... DQ ice cream cake & pizza... dang. 

I slept in & then read for a while in bed before getting up, so "breakfast" was pretty late.....

11:30am - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, strawberries n cream. 180 cal. 20g protein

2:00pm -  Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk (double batch) 150x2=300 cal. 14x2=28g protein 

6pm - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, strawberries n cream. 180 cal. 20g protein

9:30 - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. vanilla. 160 cal. 30g protein

5 shakes, finally!

820 calories

98g protein

Great day, all-in-all. Avoided the DQ cake & pizza, no problem. 

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 4...

On to day four!! I'm writing this as my day goes on.....


8:30am - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein


12:30pm - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, strawberries n cream. 180 cal. 20g protein............. I was gone from home & forgot to bring my protein shakes w/ me, so we stopped @ Walmart & picked up some strawberry Muscle Milk.... I don't know why, but I thought I'd just give it a try. It's actually better than the chocolate or vanilla!! :o) I stopped for a cup of ice @ DQ (lunch for son) & poured it over that. If it wasn't so ridiculously expensive, I'd pick up a case of it, I think. :o) 


5:30pm - Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk. 150 cal. 14g protein................ no wonder I'm hungry! 5 hours is too long to wait to drink. I had a nap, didn't feel good. Better now.


Today is my youngest 14th birthday. Hubby is bringing home Chinese. Awesome. :o) I'll deal w/ it. 


7:30 - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, strawberries n cream. 180 cal. 20g protein............... definitely got hungry sooner after having the Carnation drink. Not enough protein in it, I think... plus going 5 hours between drinks will do that, too, I'm sure!


11:30 - Edy's Real Fruit bar. strawberry. 45 cal


715 calories
84g protein


.....good day. Little bit of heartburn after I took my meds, weird, but I'm supposed to take them w/ food, so maybe the protein drinks aren't enough food to help buffer.?? 

LETTER TO DOCTORS....

I had to write a letter to the bariatric clinic when I was first filling out paperwork for this surgery to let them know what I'm hoping to get out of this surgery. Thought I'd share it.....


Obesity… yuck. I’ve been obese the majority of my adult life, you’d think I’d be used to it… but instead, I’m embarrassed & ashamed. I’m tired… frustrated. I ache…  my knees, feet, hips, shoulders, elbows… my joints are revolting against me.


I know what confidence feels like… pride in doing the work, taking care of ME, taking care of my family, my house… I’ve been able to get my weight down some, for a good period of time, even, & it feels good…. not just how I look, but how I feel about myself…. how I feel about everything around me.

Regaining this weight over the last several years has really shaken my confidence… I hide from friends, don’t see old friends when I travel anymore… like I said, I’m embarrassed & ashamed. I know it’s holding me back from what I want to do w/ my life. I’m an artist & more than anything, I want to TEACH! I want to teach nationally… internationally! I know I can do it, I know that I’m good @ it… but I’m embarrassed for others to see me like this. I can’t fly anymore w/out feeling like I’m encroaching on my neighbor, so I don’t, which means I don’t teach.

I’m waiting around to get my crap together so I can get on w/ my life. The longer I wait, telling myself “I’ll get it together. I’ll get it together.” the more footing I lose.

I know I have to do the work myself… I know that bariatric surgery isn’t the easy way out, but I’ve finally come to understand that I can’t do this by myself… I need better tools & I think that this surgery is the right tool. It scares me…. it’s drastic… but I’m at that point where I need that ultimate kick in the ass… something that takes me by the scruff of my neck & says “deal w/ it NOW.” I’m making the decision to do this because I believe it’s time. It’s time to stop waiting. It’s time for me to do the work w/ the right tools. It’s time for me to gain my confidence back, to be proud of myself again.

I want to be able to walk a distance or climb a flight of stairs w/out being winded. I want to FLY. I want to ride roller coasters & hike w/ my family. I want to have the confidence that I’ll fit in that chair @ the concert or movie theater. I want to shave my legs w/ a razor, LOL. I want my bra to stop slipping off of my shoulders… my purse, too, for that matter. I want energy to do what needs to be done. I want energy to get me healthy & confident in myself again. I want to love my husband confidently. I don’t want to be the fat mom & wife anymore.

I’m really looking forward to feeling like ME. 

PRE-OP DIET - DAY 3...

I'm writing this as I go through my day. 


I bought some Premier protein shakes yesterday, chocolate & vanilla... forgot to put any in the fridge, so I haven't tried them yet...


10:30am (I like to sleep in!) - Muscle Milk. 11 oz shake, vanilla cream. 180 cal. 20g protein


1:30pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. chocolate. 160 cal. 30g protein ...........not bad. Not fabulous, strange aftertaste, but which one doesn't have one? Not as sweet as the others, which makes it okay w/ me. Yay! Looking forward to trying the vanilla!


3pm - Edy's Real Fruit bar. berry. 45 cal


6:30pm - Premier Protein. 11 oz shake. vanilla. 160 cal. 30g protein ..............eh. 


9pm -  Carnation Breakfast Essentials, NSA w/ skim milk (double batch) 150x2=300 cal. 14x2=28g protein 


845 cal
108g protein


........good day. Low hunger... it's there, but not much & easy to distract myself from it. Son made fish sticks for dinner, boy, I sure wanted one! No fun. Youngest son turns 14 tomorrow, he wants Chinese. I think they're going to go out w/out me, please, please! 


On to day four! Eldest son gets his driver's license tomorrow... yikes! :o) 

AUGUST!!!!...

OMG.... I can't believe it's August already! Time has just flown by! This is such a huge step, I'd be lying to say I wasn't getting a little bit nervous.

I had my pre-op doctor's check-up yesterday & am good to go. He told me that he thinks it would be hard for me to lose 100 lbs or more, thinking I'll probably settle around the 180 lb mark, which is okay, but not what I think I can do. He said I'd have to work for it if I wanted more, he doesn't know me, does he? Well, actually, he DOES know me, LOL, but I'm determined to completely take advantage of what I'm being given here & totally plan on doing everything I need to be doing to be successful!! I know that I don't want to take on more exercise than I can live w/ forever because that can backfire if/when you can't keep up, but I am going to be walking & if I can get the nerve up to get into a swimsuit again, I'll be doing water aerobics, too, because I really love it!

I joined the Y a year ago & have been TWICE! I joined for the water aerobics classes & went a few times & yes, I loved it, but I'm so self conscious in my suit, I haven't talked myself into going back. It's ridiculous to be paying & not going. I wonder how long it will be after surgery before I can do that level of exercise? It's GOOD exercise & I just need to go. I know people couldn't care less about how I look, I just need to get over that.

I'm ready to start walking more... I've done some, but it hurts. This weight really sucks. I can feel it everywhere.... ankles, knees, hips, elbows, shoulders, etc. This is a HUGE reason why I'm doing this surgery... who wants to feel like this? Not me! I'm too young to feel like this.